 Kudos to Shell Oil Company for finding a way to make pumping gas into my car even more f-ing annoying than it ever was before. The Shell near my home has recently 'upgraded' its pumps to the new, Jetsons-era gas pumps with video screens. My latest experience played out like this...
I pull up to the pump and exit my car (it is freezing outside). I lift up the pump to begin fueling up. Instantly, some annoying dolt in khakis welcomes me (on-screen of course). The sound coming from the speakers is like something produced by Dolby's loud, retarded half-brother. Imagine someone with the voice of Tom Waits screaming through a megaphone two feet in front of your face. As I continue to fuel up, the un-hip, lunkhead in khakis is replaced by PSA's and commercials.
Being a green-minded company, Shell takes a moment to express their sincere interest in the environment. How nice. I am informed that by replacing my incandescent light bulbs with CFL's (compact florescent bulbs), I can effectively reduce my 'carbon footprint.' It's nice to hear the term 'carbon footprint' coming from big-oil. I wonder what the size of Shell's 'carbon footprint' is in Nigeria or Sakhalin or San Francisco? I'm also fairly certain that the 14 flatscreen, pump-a-visions running 24 hours a day at my local Shell are more than offsetting my use of CFL's. The next plug is for a nearby casino. Nice . Is Shell hurting so badly financially that they have to hawk air time on pump-a-vision to local casinos and the like? Are local casinos hurting so badly that they're reduced to advertising on gas pumps?
If Shell really wants to impress customers with their snazzy pumps, they should replace the rowdy, obnoxious pump-a-visions with in-pump urinals. In doing so, Shell could reduce their 'carbon footprint' while providing a useful service to folks driving home from the casinos.Labels: general reviews, gripes
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