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| Thursday, February 28, 2008 |
| Best Rock Albums Released Between 1988 And 2008 (Past 20 Years) |
 The following is a list of the best rock-ish albums to be released in the past two decades.
First, a word on how the results were determined…
Sales data, social polling, and audibility testing were all considered when comprising this list. Each of these factors was assigned a weight value that would ultimately be used in the rating scale. Finally, an algorithm comprised of these factors was developed. Due to the complexity of this algorithm, and an inability to understand it, it was determined that my opinion would be used instead. Since the following is based on my opinion, it can be generally accepted by all to be precisely correct.
Best Rock-ish Albums Released Between 1988 And 2008 (Past 20 Years) If you think I’ve missed anything, I’d be really interested in knowing. Post your choices in the comments. I may have to modify the list above if I agree with you (or you may need to be flogged for your suggestions). Labels: albums, music reviews, rock
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posted by OmniSwami @ 3:59 PM   |
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| Bob Wargaski - Pig Farm Hero in Wauconda, Illinois |
 It's people like Bob Wargaski that protect what it means to be an American. When piss-ant local governments start pushing people around, many folks just roll-over.
Bob is standing up against the alledgedly corrupt local government of Island Lake, Illinois and it's officials. By starting a pig farm on his property, due to EPA regulations, Bob may effectively stop Island Lake from building a water tower in what is practically his back yard.
You can read the full story (from the Daily Herald Newspaper) here: http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=116923&src=3
To let them know your thoughts on the matter, you can contact the Island Lake, Illinois local officials via this link: http://www.villageofislandlake.com/html/village_board_highlights.html
Good luck Bob!Labels: government, justice, liberty
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 7:58 AM |
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| Wednesday, February 27, 2008 |
| Interview with Saint Peter - Part 1 |
 The following is a transcript taken from my direct interview with Saint Peter.
OmniSwami:
Saint Peter, it truly is an honor...
Saint Peter:
Oh, thanks... It's my pleasure, really.
O/S:
Before we get started, I feel obligated to ask... Who's manning the gates while your down here with me?
S/P:
Actually, no one. Heaven is officially closed for the next 30 minutes or so... gates locked.
O/S:
No kidding? Let's hope nobody buys the farm in the next half hour.
S/P: (laughs)
That's why we have purgetory...
O/S: (laughing)
Right. Okay, so... first question... Is it truly as difficult to get into Heaven as they say it is?
S/P:
Well, I guess that depends on who the they is... If the they is Hitler, Osama, or Hillary, probably so.
O/S:
No, no, I know they're screwed. I mean regular folks...
S/P:
No, not really. You know, God's a bit more relaxed now. He's not sure the Bible projects the image he wants for himself. It doesn't really capture the God I know...
O/S:
And who is the God you know?
S/P:
Well, you've all heard the stories of the punishing God, the fire & brimstone, etc...
O/S:
Sure...
S/P:
Well... that's a bit harsh. He's really very understanding. He knows folks have a bit more on their plates these days. He knows that both parents are working, the kids have soccor, the groceries, blah, blah, blah... God knows people are being pushed beyond their intended physical, psychological, and emotional means. He's been thinking of simplifying his message.
O/S:
How so?
S/P:
For starters, he's thinking about reducing the Ten Commandments to the One Commandment - "Thou shalt not be a schnook."
O/S:
You're kidding me...
S/P:
No, seriously. Think about it... It captures the root message of all the other commandments - What do you call a guy who sleeps with his neighbor's wife? Or someone who takes your favorite garden gnome? Or the person who blames you for something they did wrong? Yep, schnooks. All of them - schnooks.
O/S:
Amazing...
S/P:
Makes sense...
O/S:
Well... Um... I have a few questions that came in via email.
S/P:
Shoot...
O/S:
Okay... This question is from Heather in San Jose... "Saint Peter, I haven't necessarily lived the most pious life to date... Do I still have a chance to get into Heaven?"
S/P: (laughs)
Heather... You're hot! Don't worry about it. Hot chicks always get a pass in Heaven!
O/S: (laughing)
Right on! Now is that God's rule or are you making some deals up there?
S/P: (laughing)
You know, we like to have a good time. It really isn't all stuffy or nothin'. For example, last week this guy comes wondering up to the gates in dumbfounded amazement (he just had a heart-attack in a cab in Brooklyn)... This guy led a picture perfect life on earth - a real family man type. Anyways, he walks up and kneels down in front of the gates with tears in his eyes, too awstruck to speak... So in my most authoritative voice I say, 'George, Mets fans are not welcome here.' You should have seen this guy's face! He went pale, absolutely pale! Ha!
O/S:
Good one.
To be continued...
Labels: funny, interviews, religion, Saint Peter
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 8:53 AM |
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| Friday, February 22, 2008 |
| I'd Like To Be A Buddhist |
 I'd like to be a Buddhist And sit in full lotus And shave the hair from my head Just so others notice I'd like to be so peaceful And never again eat meat And stop looking at women Like a dog in heat I'd live a more simple life And trade-in my Volkswagon Jetta I'd walk to work, hands folded Lost in loving metta But reality sets in And I start to think I'd like to be a Buddhist But a Buddhist doesn't drink Labels: buddha, buddhism, funny, poem
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 8:21 AM |
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| Friday, February 15, 2008 |
| NIU Shooting in DeKalb Illinois |
 What can I say? Your parents must be really proud. I don't even know your name yet. All I know is you're six-foot-something, weighing 140 pounds; a rather lanky fellow. I'll call you pole-bean.
Well, pole-bean, if there is a hell, I hope you've found it. To be more specific, I hope you've found the pole-bean-gets-pluked-by-bubba-for-all-eternity section. With little more detail, I can already tell you that your life was much like your death, cowardly. What was it pole-bean? What was the final-straw? Did you get an A- when clearly you deserved a solid A? It was Valentines Day... Did it occur to you that you were nearing 30-years old, a geeky, twig, wee-man-virgin? Who cares why? It really doesn't matter does it. Your pathetic existence is no more - thank goodness for that. So here we are now, another seemingly random shooting in academia. In the past few weeks, the Midwest has seen such events occuring in the retail and government sectors as well. I don't own a gun. I'd like to, but I don't. I'm too scared to have one around. Now, I'm starting to think that everyone should own one. Everyone should carry one with them, everywhere they go, at all times. I can't help but imagine how different the outcome would have been had pole-bean walked in pointing his guns at 150 armed Northern Illinois University students. Not so powerful anymore huh, pole-bean? That's what this was about for pole-bean. He wanted to inflict fear. Clearly, he'd lived the majority of his weak existence in fear. This was retribution. This was about getting back at them. They did this to pole-bean. All pole-bean wanted was love and acceptance. You made pole-bean do this. How very, very sad. How does someone become so diluted, devoid, delusional? Pole-bean, these people were not the enemy. These were just people, trying to live life. They didn't make you this way, you did. You weren't so special. Everyone has fears and disappointment in life. You could have eliminated your enemy with one bullet. To those who lost a loved one in the DeKalb shooting at NIU, I am truly sorry. For those who were injured, I am truly sorry. For those who will be forced to remember what you saw, heard, and felt, I am truly sorry. For those who will now regularly, cautiously glance at a classroom door during a lecture, I am truly sorry. Labels: current events, dekalb, niu, northern illinois university
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 9:18 AM |
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