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| Thursday, March 27, 2008 |
| Mary Mitchell of the Chicago Sun-Times - You Suck |
 I hate to provide the link, but I feel I must. I have a couple of open questions for Mary Mitchell, the Chicago Sun-Times columnist.
Question 1:
Are you capable of writing anything that doesn't have to do with (and promote) racial differences?
Question 2:
Does Barack Obama kiss you before he leaves in the morning?Just curious... One more thing - I think you suck. You're a hack working for a second-rate Chicago newspaper; a newspaper that gets thinner each day as advertisers continue to withdrawl. The same newspaper that gives the dip-shit Jesse Jackson page space to spew. Keep drivin' that wedge between the races... As the Sun-Times faulters, I suspect you won't be doing it for much longer. Labels: general reviews, opinion
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posted by OmniSwami @ 8:02 AM   |
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| Monday, March 24, 2008 |
| Zilch |
You wake me you wonder
Now take me to see
Don't wake me to ponder
This dawn mystery
I look through the blinds
No mooney beams there
No treasures or finds
So pale your stare
Gray matter connections
Have fluttered and failed
Your constant rejections
I've toiled and toiled
Wake me, wake me
Take me to see
This horrible nightmare
I cannot flee
You take away measure
And meter and rhyme
And leave me here broken
Waiting for their returnLabels: howl, internet poetry monthly, poem, poetry
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 6:50 AM |
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| Friday, March 21, 2008 |
| Driver Improvement School - Cruel and Unusual Punishment (Part 1) |
 I recently had the galling experience of attending driver improvement school. The reason? My daughter states the answer rather clearly, "Because you were bad, Daddy." Yes, I was bad.
After receiving my first moving violation in 16 years for improper lane usage, I had the dumb-(really, incredibly dumb)-luck of receiving a
speeding ticket just 2 months later. Now, the improper lane usage charge, though lame, was dully mine. For the second ticket, unlike the
first, I was not the appropriate recipient. I was not speeding (especially 19 mph over the limit).
When explaining this to the bull-headed police officer, he informed me that he was quite sure the ticket was unmistakably mine. I was beginning to understand the officer's logic. I believe the formula that was sputtering through his little mind was something like:
God is infallible. I think I'm God. Therefore, I am infallible.
What a douche-bag.
Now, I must return to the true focus of my tale of woe. One requirement of the rather exorbitant "justice" I purchased was that I attend driver improvement school. There is nothing, nothing, in this great world, that can make a man more contemplative of humanity than driver improvement school. For two, three-hour nights, I had become a pupil in an academy both cruel and unusual.
Upon entering the classroom, the fifteen years I had experienced since high school were erased. My time in college, a career, a wife, a house, the kids, all were gone, sublimated, vaporized, erased. I found myself back in what could have been any high school's drivers-ed class. I cautiously scanned the room. There are sixty-five teens of various social standing, representing every gang, club, and clique known to the modern-day high school. Additionally, there's a guy who is easily fifteen years older than me who appears to be reliving his high school glory days. I'm a fish out of water. This guy is a loud, dumb, beached-whale.
To be continued...Labels: funny, justice
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 9:44 AM |
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| Monday, March 17, 2008 |
| AMC Theatres Free Popcorn Coupon |
Get your free popcorn coupon from AMC Theatres here. The coupon is good for all of 2008, expiring on 1/15/2009. I should add that you will need to purchase a drink to receive the popcorn. Drinks start at $400 for a small. Labels: coupons, free, freebies, movies
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 1:08 PM |
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| Thursday, March 13, 2008 |
| Hugo Chavez - Today Your Weed... Tomorrow The World |
See what happens when Hugo Chavez hangs out with Jeff Spicoli?
Labels: funny, hugo chavez
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 8:51 PM |
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| HOWL - Internet Poetry Monthly |
Howl - Internet Poetry Monthly presented by OmniSwami.com
Howl is a monthly review of unpublished poems submitted via the web. If you have a poetry blog (or post) that you would like reviewed, please submit it today to us via BlogCarnival.com.
The only submission requirement we have is that the work is your work, and you own the copyrights to it.
Please bookmark this page and back April 1, 2008 for our first issue. Thanks!Labels: internet poetry monthly, poem, poetry, poetry reviews, the howl
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 1:45 PM |
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| Wednesday, March 12, 2008 |
| Cubes |
Why do we do this
This awful thing we do
We sit in squares
In upright chairs
Until the day is through
God-damn the Dollar
God-damn the Euro too
We trade thought and freedom
For security with no view Labels: poem, poetry
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 7:57 AM |
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| Thursday, March 6, 2008 |
| Yahoo Reports The Obvious |
 I thought I'd call this to your attention... There are multiple issues with the headline above that I must address.
First, it never fails to amaze me where spelling mistakes can be found. This mistake (circled in red above) appeared this afternoon on Yahoo's homepage of all places! Do you think someone could clue them in? Here, let me help mister editor of a multi-billion-dollar website. "Genes," is actually spelled J-E-A-N-S. There, now you know how to spell jeans.
My second issue has to do with reporting on the obvious. Is it really necessary to waste our time with information that is already generally accepted and widely known? "Happiness may be found in our genes study finds." No, really? Like I didn't know that by the time I was in third grade.
Lastly, I take issue with their choice in words. For instance, what if a person only wears khakis? I believe the headline should have been written, "Happiness may be found in our pants study finds." There, now don't you agree that pants is far less restricting than jeans?Labels: satire, web reviews
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 1:45 PM |
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| Monday, March 3, 2008 |
| Tons of Free Dinosaur Jr. Live Music at FreeSoFree.net |
 A good friend passed along this tip...
Check out FreeSoFree.net for tons of totally free Dinosaur Jr. down loadable media including videos, live audio, lyrics, and guitar tab.
There are some pretty cool performances here. Versions of Dinosaur Jr. playing the Sex Pistols "No Fun," sung by guest Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys (holy shit - that's a freakin' cool combo).
There are also appearances by the Sex Pistols very own Steve Jones (guitar). Legendary bassist, Mike Watt of the Minutemen plays regularly. Any Dinosaur Jr. fan will be blown-away by this site - guaranteed.
Thanks Tony!
Labels: cool sites, Dinosaur Jr., music reviews, web reviews
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 8:32 AM |
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