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| Monday, April 28, 2008 |
| Ball-less Official to Clip Yours Too |
 Thank goodness we have our government to take care of us:
Once again, government time and resources have been well spent.
Appearently Senator Carey Baker would like everyone to be more like him (without testicles). Dope. Labels: government, liberty
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posted by OmniSwami @ 8:11 AM   |
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| Thursday, April 17, 2008 |
| Go Green- Let's Learn From The Dinosaur's Mistakes |
 New research indicates that it was not a catastrophic event that erased the dinosaurs. It was, in fact, their inability to adapt to a green way of life and the standards laid out in the Kyoto Protocol.
The bulky bastards zipped around in their H2's without a care in the world. They refused to recycle. They refused to use mercury-infused CFL's. Worse yet, they did not purchase their produce from local growers. As history now shows, these proved to be poor choices for the dinosaurs.
Recently, the fossilized remains of a T-rex were unearthed in western Montana. A plastic grocery bag can be seen clutched in the front left claw of the enormous beast. Also, a pair of non-hemp, synthetic, "Life Is Shit" sandals were found on his huge, gnarly feet.
Have we learned nothing from these giant teachers of the past? Do we let their message go unheard? No. It stops now people. WE GO GREEN. We do not let even one dino-death be in vain. WE GO GREEN. Everyone. The whole world over must go green. Do you understand? No more messin' around. All nations go green and save ourselves while we still can. WE GO GREEN or we nuke the shit out of any piss-ant counties that don't. Do it for the dinosaurs.Labels: environment, funny, green living, satire
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 8:38 PM |
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| Friday, April 11, 2008 |
| The Early Worm |
The early worm
gets the dirt
A man with a heart
gets hurt
A fool and his money
will surely be parted
A man with a heart
will become broken-heartedLabels: poem, poetry
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 6:21 PM |
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| Tuesday, April 8, 2008 |
| New Wall Mounted Defibrillator for Toy Packaging Executives |
Here is my proprietary design for a wall-mounted defibrillator made exclusively for toy packaging executive's offices...
UNIT FRONT UNIT BACK Labels: funny, opinion, satire
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 11:17 AM |
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| Thursday, April 3, 2008 |
| Five Alternate Career Paths for Barack Obama |
I happen to think that Barack Obama is very well suited to be the next President (of the local PTA). Here is a list of alternative career choices for Obama: - Pro Surfer - Knows how to frolic on the beach with his shirt off.
- Television Evangelist - Has proven success getting money from stupid people.
- Real Estate Agent - He has experience making beneficial land deals.
- Toll Collector - Obama knows quite a bit about change.
- Ventriloquist - Can make a lot of dummies talk without saying anything.
Labels: humor, obama, president
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 9:54 AM |
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| Tuesday, April 1, 2008 |
| HOWL - Internet Poetry Monthly - Edition 1 |
 Welcome to the Howl - Internet Poetry Monthly. This month, I'd like to feature Philip Larkin's High Windows.Larkin is flawless... He is by far one of my favorite poets. Learn more about him here. Labels: howl, internet poetry monthly, poem, poetry
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 8:32 PM |
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