I just finished reading this article on the nasty divorce and custody issues that have plagued Christie Brinkley and her ex-husband, Peter Cook.  Christie tells reporters to “google divorcing a narcissist” to get an idea of how her divorce has played out.  Who going through a tough divorce doesn’t think the other person is a narcissist?

Going through a contentious divorce is bad enough, but custody fights will truly bring out the worst in a person.  Peter Cook may be a less-than-desirable person, but fighting for your kids is a good thing for a guy to do.  Why?  Many fathers do take the coward’s path and walk away.

It is easier to cut a check to your ex-wife each month and pop-in to your kid’s life every other weekend.  It’s far easier than facing the tough reality of the situation you are in.  The situation that you had a part of putting your kids in too.  That’s no father, and that certainly is no way to be a man.

A real father and man fights for his kids.  He fights until he exhausts every monetary, physical, and mental resource he has – then keeps fighting.  He fights until it kills him (and it may very well kill him in time).  Why?  Kids need their fathers in their lives and fathers are entitled to be there for their children.  Fathers are the other equal half of the parental equation.

My ex-wife continues to amaze me me with her sense of entitlement.  She has told me many times throughout our divorce and after, “I am their mother.”  Now, I realize that that is the case and that she too has an inherent right to be there for our children.  I do, however, find the context in which she has repeatedly used this phrase to be disgusting.  This is her only defense when she argues that she should have more time with our children than I.  She states this as if it is a given fact that mothers are MORE entitled.  Wrong.

I can accept that there are usually very valid arguments that underlay many stereotypes.  Historically, mothers have been the primary care-givers and nurturers in the family.   Women have worked hard to break in to the workplace.  Now, right now, men need to stand up and make it known that the traditional, stereotypical role of the father has forever changed.

What about you?  Father or mother, what have you encountered during your custody fight?  I’d love to hear your story.

Dan