Heart vs Mind – Emotional Links
Without knowledge (mind-work), from where can emotions originate? They cannot come from nothing. Emotion is ALWAYS a reaction, secondary to knowledge. Emotions are generated from the internal analysis and processing of knowledge, logic, and reason. With no knowledge, we have no emotion. So, in an around-about way, emotions are formed from knowledge. I suppose this gives some validity to emotions… phew.
If I have the knowledge that my ex-grlfriend is truly no good for me, why then, am I still emotionally drawn to her. My first thought was the whole garbage-in, garbage-out theory. If I am emotionally drawn to her and that is bad, then my knowledge too, must be bad (or faulty at best). I believe, that this train-of-thought is generally accurate.
THEN IT HIT ME! What else can drive strong, difficult emotions in a person? Addiction. I was high as a kite when we were together. I have no doubt that a physiological / chemical change took place within me. It’s kinda’ scary to see this… The only reason I give her any thought at all, is because my body craves a fix.
Interesting take on the heart. What if you’re just addicted to the idea of love?
There is obviously something about her that attracted you to her. I don’t think it is so much that she is bad for you. BPD is a mental illness. She’s sick & I think it is important to acknowledge that.
It is a hard journey to travel with someone and unless you can be fully committed to it then maybe it is best it has ended.
Hi Rose – There absolutely were things that attracted me to her. The physical-attraction for was like none other for me. She wasn’t a supermodel – there was just something about her…
Her personality was perfect. The only problem was that it wasn’t HER personality, it was mine. She was mirroring me, giving me what I wanted and playing me like a fiddle.
I do know she’s ill and deep-down, she knows she’s ill too. It took me nearly a year of being manipulated, spun-around, lied-to, cheated-on, and abruptly discarded to catch on to just how bad she was for me. Most of these things I discovered at the very end, but it always felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
U/C – Thanks for visiting… You are absolutely right I was. I was way to idealistic in my view of love. I thought she was ‘the one’ for me. I no longer think that way.
Hope you’re hanging in there…
Again, I don’t think “bad” is the right word to use.
Had you known while in the relationship she suffered from BPD I wonder if you would have stayed?
You’re thinking too much. The heart controls the mind but the mind can also control the heart. It’s hard right now because it’s hard to have loved and lost. Every time your heart begins to feel better, your mind remembers something pleasant about the relationship. And, when your mind is feeling strong and focusing on other things, your heart reminds you of the void that was created when your relationship ended. The good news is there is a cure for a broken heart and a mind that is full of sorrow and that cure goes by the name of “TIME”. I’m sure you have heard this before but, the only thing that is going to help you right now is to continue to live each day one day at a time. If you feel like crying, then cry. But if you are still crying after an hour, shake it off and talk yourself out of that emotion because you still must get on with the business of living. Crying helps the heart to heal and talking about how you feel helps the mind to recover. So talk about it, cry about it, but remember that you must get over it if you are to heal and make room for your true soul-mate to enter into your life.
Hi Shirley – Thanks for stopping by!
You know, you are right. Time has healed me so much already. I think having my exgf contacted me a few weeks ago, after no-contact for 7 months, set me back some. I never responded as I know it’s pointless…
I love her to this day, but unfortunately, it’s not enough in this situation.
I definitely shed some tears over her for the first few months, but those moments are very rare now. I was only with her for one year. I barely cried at all when my ex-wife and I divorced after nearly 16 years together. Crazy.
Thanks again for your visit and insight!