I’ve heard people say that their goal in raising their kids is for them to grow to be happy, healthy adults.  I can understand that, especially the healthy part.  Not to sound cold, but happiness doesn’t pay the bills, does it?

I believe that happiness is a byproduct of being content.  Going further, I think contentment is the result of trusting in one’s self, or confidence. 

More than anything, I want to raise my girls to be confident – comfortable in their own skin.  I want them to face a difficult situation as a challenge, not a set-back. 

I have compiled the following list of 50 ways to teach your child confidence.  Please keep in mind that this is directed mainly to raising younger-children.   Here goes:

1. Tell them you trust them.
2. Ask them for their opinion.
3. Let them fail – teach them to learn from failure.
4. Show them the value of persistence.
5. Take their feelings into consideration.
6. Set clear boundaries.
7. Listen when they are speaking to you.
8. Don’t interfere when they are creating.
9. Smile at them – often.
10. Compliment them.
11. Give them chores and household responsibilities.
12. Set clear expectations of them.
13. Display their artwork (no matter how ugly it is).
14. Let them do the interior designing in their bedroom.
15. Show them it is healthy to compete.
16. Teach them to win gracefully.
17. Teach them to lose gracefully.
18. Look at them when they are speaking to you.
19. Knock on their bedroom door and ask if you can enter.
20. Play with them.
21. Let them pick out their clothes (no matter how ridiculous they look).
22. Show them the importance of being organized.
23. Respect their privacy.
24. Keep them involved in extra-curricular activities.
25. Don’t place too much emphasis on good grades.
26. Focus on educational efforts and experiences.
27. Give them their own calendar.
28. Know their friend’s names.
29. Know their favorites (colors, foods, books, etc.)
30. Ask them to read to you.
31. Reward their good behavior.
32. Be consistent with disciplining them.
33. Let them show you their interests – then guide them.
34. Show them by example what it means to be charitable.
35. Teach them the value of money.
36. Expect their respect and show them the same.
37. Let them take risks without cautioning them too much.
38. Let them work out non-physical sibling fights.
39. Teach them the difference between “wants” and “needs.”
40. Teach them to save for something they want.
41. Let them know they are a valuable member of the family.
42. Ask them questions about their day.
43. Eat dinner together as often as possible (with no TV).
44. Let them prepare dinner for you.
45. Let them “teach” you what they are learning in school.
46. Hug them.
47. Don’t try to fix everything for them.
48. Ask them for help (household tasks, projects, etc).
49. Surprise them – let them know they are special to you.
50. Tell them you love them – often.

I would love to know your thoughts…  Please drop a line in the comments section. 

Take care, Dave

I wanted to post a copy of the form I use to track the never ending exchange of childcare payments between my ex and I.  Because my ex and I have a 50/50 shared custody agreement, we are each always needing to exchange money for half of the child-related payments we make.

In my particular situation, my ex and I use the same bank and have a joint checking account we use to exchange money quickly.  If I owe her, I transfer the owed amount into the joint account from my individual account (which she cannot see or access), she then withdraws then transfers that cash into her individual account (which I cannot see or access).  It is the same process in reverse when I am owed money.

This lifestyle is a busy one, and payments made or due can easily be overlooked or forgotten.  For this reason, it is best to NOT depend on your memory (or your ex’s) to track payments.  Even if you and your ex have an amiable post-divorce relationship, that can quickly sour when money comes into question.

The following shared custody payment log is in Microsoft Excel format. It is a payment template that you should feel free to modify to suit your personal situation.  You may want to give a copy to your ex too (or not).

Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can help you with the template.

Shared-Custody-Payments-Log

Take care, Dave

According to what I’ve read, teacup pigs do make great pets.  

How cute are Teacup piglets?  They are so cute that they probably live in the constant danger of being hugged to death.  Take a look: 

Cute 'lil Teacup piglet

Sadly, it appears that there are not too many in the US – yet.  They are selling like little pork sausages (sorry ’bout that) in the U.K. though.  From what I hear, they’re not cheap either; buying one could easily set you back $1,000 – if you can even find a teacup piglet for sale because demand is high.  Yikes!  That does take some of the cuteness away I’m afraid. 

I’m being very cautious to not let my daughters see or hear of them.  It wouldn’t take too much convincing for me to drop $1k on a little guy.

I wanted to pass along a tip that may already be obvious to some of you.

For whatever reason, in the past, I have rarely been able to make it through a complete loaf of bread before it becomes moldy. Surprisingly often, mold sets in on the loaf within a week?! I used to keep the loaf in its original packaging on top of the refrigerator. After wasting countless loaves of bread, I no longer go this route.

Now, I will buy-in on buy-one-get-one-free bread sales and from the start, I keep the loaves in the freezer. I have found that doing so has a few benefits. First, as I stated, I am able to take advantage of good sale prices on bread. Second, I have used the bread after freezing for over a month, and haven’t noticed any significant loss of taste quality. Third, when I use the bread to pack my kids lunch, they have noticed that their sandwiches no longer get soggy or mushy by lunchtime.

To be clear, I keep the bread in the freezer until I use it. Each time I use the bread, I take a couple slices from the loaf in the freezer and use (I do not take the whole loaf out until used). If I want to use for a sandwich that I am making to eat immediately, I simply put the slices I need in the microwave and defrost for about 1 minute. Is the bread as fresh and soft as bread brought back from the store and not frozen? Probably not, but I truly haven’t noticed a loss in taste quality (and it usually stays pretty soft). Besides, for me, the benefits far outweigh the downsides.

Take care, Dave

Believe it single-dads!  The crock pot (or slow-cooker) is your friend.  I have not found an easier way to have an excellent home-cooked meal. 

I don’t need to tell you about how busy our lifestyle is.  We are always rushing.  We wake up get ourselves together then try to get the kids dressed, fed and moving.  We gather up school bags, homework, and lunches then run out the door with kids in tow.  We zip to school and/or daycare and drop the kids off then drive half-crazed to work.  We settle at the office and take our first deep breath of the morning before dealing with the everyday stresses of employment.

Later, as the clock nears quitting-time and our stomach growl with all the vigor of the cro-magnon man, we start to think about dinner.  We rush to get the kids from daycare, school, or a friend’s house fighting mind-bending traffic the whole way.  Our stomachs now growling with the intensity of a rabid pit bull.  What do you do?!  McDonald’s again?  KFC?  Mac & Cheese?!!  Dear God no!!  Pull yourself together!!


Remember how you planned ahead last night?  You packed the kids lunches, laid out their clothes, and gathered their school things.  Good man.  Now, add just one more simple step that really shouldn’t take you more than 10 or 15 minutes (I do this after the girls go to sleep).  Get out that slow-cooker and prepare you meal for tomorrow night (I actually picked up a new, stainless-steel one at the local Target store for $15 and it works great).

Grab the necessary items that will make up your culinary masterpiece; there are slow-cooker recipes all over the internet.  Dump the required savory bits into the crock pot, cover and place in the fridge for the next morning.

The next morning, somewhere between yelling at the kids to get their shoes on and feeding the cats, take that crock pot out of the fridge and saddle-it-up in the heating container (I should note that I almost always use the “LOW” setting and let me dinners cook for close to 12 hours before eating).  Now, continue on with the rest of your insane morning schedule.  But know this, master-of-the-morning-rush:  Tonight, the aroma of a fine, home-cooked meal will greet you and the kids at the door (and chances are good that it will cost less and take less time then a call for a delivered pizza).

While driving to work this morning, listening to the radio, I happened to hear Warren Zevon’s, “Desperadoes Under the Eaves” being played on a local college radio station.  What an incredible song from an equally increadible songwriter.  Zevon’s music has a strange effect on me in that every time I hear his songs, I feel like giving up as a musician.  It’s as if he has written all the good songs already, so why should I even bother.  I get this same feeling from other artists, but not as frequently nor consistently as I do when listening to Zevon.

It’s been some time now since Warren Zevon was diagnosed and died from inoperable mesothelioma (a form of cancer associated with exposure to asbestos).  It was September 7th, 2003 in fact.  He died at the age of 56 – way, way too early.  I can barely stand to listen to some of his last album, “The Wind.”  It’s too damn sad.

I miss his knack for blending the darkest of lyrics with the “pop-piest” (almost happy) of tunes.  Zevon has left behind a painful, empty void in music for me.  I long to hear something new from him, yet the music does not come (nor will it ever again).  The oddest thing about it is that I cannot think of any artist who’s music was more full of life and character – and characters.

RIP Warren…  You are missed.

If you would like to learn more about Warren Zevon and his music, I highly recommend checking out the biography written by his ex-wife, Crystal Zevon.  “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead: The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon,” is an awesome read that you won’t be able to stop reading.  I particularly enjoyed the unique format of the book which is a compilation of short, easy-to-read quotes and stories about Warren written the people who knew him.

Take care, Dave

I was a bit surprised when I recently found out that Microsoft Money has been discontinued.  I found the program to be one of the better personal finance software packages.  Wanting to get back on track with my personal finances, I started looking for an alternative solution.

I did a bit of online research which pointed me towards Mint.com, Rudder.com, and Quicken Online (all free).  I created accounts with each of these to test them out.  Honestly, they all seemed fairly decent, but none really seemed to fit what I was looking for.  I continued my hunt until I found Yodlee.com.

Now I know why MS Money is no more.  Yodlee’s free online MoneyCenter is very slick.  Even if you love Mint or Rudder or whatever, it is worth creating an account to see what you can do with MoneyCenter.  Once you signup, be sure to use the beta version of the software.

Accounts Overview Menu

Yodlee Account List

One of the features that Microsoft Money had that I loved was the ability to forecast account balances (taking into account bills, expenses, etc.).  Yodlee’s MoneyCenter takes it a step further with a fully incorporated calendar that plots out income and expenses for any given day past, present and future.  They definately got it right.

The Yodlee Financial Calendar

Yodlee Projected Balances

There are tons of really cool features MoneyCenter, but the best of all is that you can automatically link just about any financial account you can image for automatic updates.  For instance, all my banking, 401k, and brokerage accounts are linked to MoneyCenter.  Additionally, I was able to link my utility accounts (Comcast, TMobile, etc.), mortgage, 529 plan, home value tracking (via Zillow).  The odd-ball accounts like my home owner’s association still had to be manually added, but this is to be expected.

Below are some screenshots from Yodlee’s MoneyCenter.  You really must check it out if you use personal finance software – especially if you are paying to use it.  I can’t believe this is free – life is good!

Yodlee Transactions Menu

Yodlee Bills Reminders

Yodlee Spending Reports Menu

Yodlee Manage Accounts Menu

**Please note that I did modify the pictures a little – added some focal points and removed any personal information.

Take care, Dave

In attempts to save as much money as possible on household expenses, I had decided to use my cellphone exclusively and drop my land line service.  I had used Vonage in the past, but didn’t want that recurring payment either.  In the first two weeks, I ran into a couple of problems with this strategy.

The first issue I encountered was poor signal reception – no bars, low bars, and dropped or missed calls. There were areas within my house that I dared not take my cellphone; these areas I came to call “signal-slayers.” The second problem was that I truly did not feel comfortable that my young children did not have a way to dial 911 should I drop dead in the backyard (or if some other emergency occurred). It was at this point that I determined that I had to have a backup home phone.

These are the requirements that I had for the new backup home phone service:

• The actual phone had to be a standard telephone (not a soft-phone or pc-based phone) that my children could easily operate.
• I did not want to have my computer on 24/7 in order to utilize the phone service.
• The phone service had to offer 911 (or E911 at the very least).
• The service had to be VERY affordable (the cheaper the better).

Based on these requirements, I investigated the following options…

VOIP Services like Vonage

Having used Vonage in the past, I felt the service worked well.  Though this service is cheaper than most standard phone lines, it still included taxes and fees that I found annoying.  I received a discount for paying annually, but I was still paying about $220 per year, and I wanted to pay less than that.  Vonage VOIP was not the right answer for me.

Other VOIP like Skype

Skype is more affordable no doubt, even with the $60 annual fee to have a dedicated phone number.  The problem, for me, was that the service would require my pc to be on at all times in order to make / receive calls (or a WIFI phone can be used, but that seemed too pricey for me).

Basic, Traditional Land-Line Service

I contacted ATT and the cheapest option they would offer me was $12/month + $7 tax ($19/month or $228/year for local service only – no long distance or local toll service included).  This option was clearly too expensive for the very limited service provided (and I hate paying all those bs taxes).

The Solution…

After reviewing my options, none really seemed to fit what I wanted.  I continued my search…  Eventually, I found a VOIP service called “Ooma.”  I had never heard of the service prior to stumbling upon they’re website.  Ooma has a business model that sets it apart from all the other VOIP services I found out there.  With Ooma, you pay only for the equipment; the service is free.

The one-time, upfront expense averages about $240.  This cost was comparable to all the other options that I had reviewed with one distinct difference – I never had to pay another dime for the service.  There are no monthly fees or access charges at all going forward.

I will continue in the near future with a review of the service after using it for a month.  I will also provide some information about Ooma’s features at that time.  Please check back soon!

Ooma Phone System

If you are interested in learning about Buddhism, an invaluable resource for information can be found at BuddhaNet.net. I highly recommend many of the free ebooks on Buddhism, mindfulness, Zen, and more available in their ebook library. Regardless of your religious background, you can benefit from the vast amount of knowledge available there. Check it out…

In a prior post, I discussed some key divorce tips. One of the points I made throughout that post was the importance of maintaining a divorce diary or log of daily events. In this post, I have included a 100-page Microsoft Word diary template that has been specifically designed for record keeping during divorce (I’ve also included an Adobe Reader pdf version if you wish to print and hand write your entries). Below is an image of a sample entry:

The divorce diary is a vital record-keeping tool during divorce proceedings. You will be making your divorce lawyer’s job that much easier by record keeping. Please let me know if you have any questions or suggestions on how to improve this template…

Click here for the Microsoft Word Divorce Diary Template (Zipped – .zip)

Click here for the Adobe Reader (pdf version)

Both files are hosted on a mediafire.com server (free file hosting). The files will download from that location.

Take care!