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| Thursday, April 17, 2008 |
| Go Green- Let's Learn From The Dinosaur's Mistakes |
 New research indicates that it was not a catastrophic event that erased the dinosaurs. It was, in fact, their inability to adapt to a green way of life and the standards laid out in the Kyoto Protocol.
The bulky bastards zipped around in their H2's without a care in the world. They refused to recycle. They refused to use mercury-infused CFL's. Worse yet, they did not purchase their produce from local growers. As history now shows, these proved to be poor choices for the dinosaurs.
Recently, the fossilized remains of a T-rex were unearthed in western Montana. A plastic grocery bag can be seen clutched in the front left claw of the enormous beast. Also, a pair of non-hemp, synthetic, "Life Is Shit" sandals were found on his huge, gnarly feet.
Have we learned nothing from these giant teachers of the past? Do we let their message go unheard? No. It stops now people. WE GO GREEN. We do not let even one dino-death be in vain. WE GO GREEN. Everyone. The whole world over must go green. Do you understand? No more messin' around. All nations go green and save ourselves while we still can. WE GO GREEN or we nuke the shit out of any piss-ant counties that don't. Do it for the dinosaurs.Labels: environment, funny, green living, satire
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posted by OmniSwami @ 8:38 PM   |
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| Tuesday, April 8, 2008 |
| New Wall Mounted Defibrillator for Toy Packaging Executives |
Here is my proprietary design for a wall-mounted defibrillator made exclusively for toy packaging executive's offices...
UNIT FRONT UNIT BACK Labels: funny, opinion, satire
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 11:17 AM |
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| Thursday, March 6, 2008 |
| Yahoo Reports The Obvious |
 I thought I'd call this to your attention... There are multiple issues with the headline above that I must address.
First, it never fails to amaze me where spelling mistakes can be found. This mistake (circled in red above) appeared this afternoon on Yahoo's homepage of all places! Do you think someone could clue them in? Here, let me help mister editor of a multi-billion-dollar website. "Genes," is actually spelled J-E-A-N-S. There, now you know how to spell jeans.
My second issue has to do with reporting on the obvious. Is it really necessary to waste our time with information that is already generally accepted and widely known? "Happiness may be found in our genes study finds." No, really? Like I didn't know that by the time I was in third grade.
Lastly, I take issue with their choice in words. For instance, what if a person only wears khakis? I believe the headline should have been written, "Happiness may be found in our pants study finds." There, now don't you agree that pants is far less restricting than jeans?Labels: satire, web reviews
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| posted by OmniSwami @ 1:45 PM |
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